My Reaction to a Certain Watermark Moment in The Force Awakens (Spoilers Ahead)
Han Solo has always been my favorite character in the Star Wars galaxy. He represented a confidence and assertiveness that I’d always wished I had. Knowing he was still out there after ROTJ going on further adventures with Chewie in the Falcon made me feel so happy and in some weird way secure. When I saw him die, especially in the way he did, I went numb.
I knew that he would probably die in this film for the reasons we all already know (Harrison Ford and Lawrence Kasdan saying he thought Han should have died in ROTJ, Ford not being signed on for VIII and IX, etc.). I’m not saying he shouldn’t have died. I think it was a good choice for the story. But seeing someone die like that, someone I’ve admired and loved all my life, my favorite scoundrel, I took it a lot harder than I thought I would. The rest of the film was slow motion for me. My girlfriend and I left the theatre and I wasn’t talking. She kept asking what was wrong and I wouldn’t talk because I didn’t want to erupt in tears there in the theatre in front of all those people. Im a 6’1″ 250 lb bearded guy. That’s not a good look. She thought I hated the movie. We went out to the car and I just cried. I was telling her how hard I took Han’s death and seeing Chewbacca grieving after the battle. Even now, while writing this, it makes me emotional. She comforted me and I was feeling better after a while.
What really vexed me was how, after the film, everyone else in the lobby and whatnot were laughing and yelling and it was just a general sense of jubilation, and I get it. It was a great movie. But I also couldn’t believe I was the only one in the state I was in. I was practically a basket case! I could barely contain myself. But I suppose we all deal with grief in our own ways.
That being said, my new favorite character in this film by far is Poe Dameron. He was only in the film a relatively short amount of time compared to Finn and Rey, but Oscar Isaac made that character come to life! He was so amazing. Funny and confident and a real mensch! I realized I loved him so much because he was like Han. He’s our new Han Solo! I hope to see a lot more of him and follow his adventures the same way I did with Han.